Thursday, October 9, 2014

10-9: DAMN THE TORPEDOS, RAMMING SPEED!

Today I dropped everything and surged to the bow of an oncoming ship with six other deckhands as it careened towards the port side of the Merc, full speed ahead, inches from rending a hole in the side and sending us to the bottom of the harbor.

Let me back up.

It'd been an efficient day so far. Wrestling the PVC framing for the covers into place, the combined crews of the Merc and Grace were making outstanding headway.

This was less true for the crew of a ship which we'll call, to both spare a bad reputation and assuage the history nerd lurking not so deep within me, the Farragut. Although they already have their cover on, they needed to navigate across the harbor to get mast work done. Fair enough.

Less fair were the conditions. Like the prevailing wind pushing it hard to the south. Or a pair of severely underpowered yawl boats to maneuver it. Or, like us, a lack of onboard engine. So, as we watched them drift about the harbor, scraping across other ships and pylons, we debated whether or not we should send a boat out and lend them a hand.

Then the wind shifted. And the Farragut started drifting, slowly at first but rapidly picking up speed, bow-first towards the side of the Merc.

"Fire up the yawl boats!" roared the Admiral, as the rest of us scooped up fenders and sprinted to the port. I snatched the eight-foot boathook from its stand and jumped housetops to get to the side. Our two yawl boats cast off and coursed towards the oncoming bow, and the Admiral shouted after them as though from the bow of a destroyer, "YOUR JOB IS TO DEFEND THIS BOAT!"

The ship was now no more than twenty feet from crashing into ours. Its bowsprit passed over the rail of the Merc, and two-hundred tons of schooner pressed closer and closer.

I stood on the housetop and pushed directly against it for everything I was worth, as six other sets of hands did the same. Two inches from my straining face was the blue star painted on the heavy wooden tip, closing the distance with the slow, irrevocable pace of an ocean wave.

And there, I think, is the cool thing about ships. Take six people together and tell them to move a log or a boulder just by pushing it. That fucker isn't going anywhere. It's just physics--weight, and ultimately just friction, hold it on the ground.

But put it in the water, and something cool happens (okay, the boulder will sink. Take the log instead): You take away the friction, and suddenly six people working in serious concert can move a few hundred tons. Not very far under these conditions, mind you, but just far enough to buy an extra second.

Sometimes a second is all you need, though. It was all the small fleet of yawl boats needed to move into position and shove the Farragut back into the harbor, where it safely navigated to the other side of the marina and docked up.

The rest of us got back to work. I re-racked the boat hook, and pondered my newfound respect for physics as the Farragut's cover fluttered softly in the breeze.

Tuesday, October 7, 2014

10-7: Downrigging--A Highlight Reel

Boy, it's been a while! Allow me to explain myself by elucidating the insanity that has been the downrigging process--taking off all the sails, all the ropes, all the heads (fun process, that), all the pumps--everything but the kitchen sink. And we thought real hard about removing that too.

And what better way to do that than a montage! By all means, I encourage you to read this with something jaunty and constructive--howsabout "The House That Jack Built" by Aretha Franklin, or maybe "Sitting on the Dock of the Bay" by Otis Redding. Got it queued up? Good!
Still didn't stop us from spitting over the side.
  • First thing's first: we dry docked the Grace, and it was fucking awesome. Less awesome was listening to not one, but two hilariously uncommunicative captains (the Admiral and the owner of the dry-dock, who I suppose we'll call The Commodore) shouting orders and watching them verbally duke it out.
  • Consequently, I totally lived in a boat-treehouse for a week. Check it out on the left!
  • While walking around the Shop looking for painting supplies I come across--inevitably--the Conan hammer from a few posts ago. "What else do we need?" the Admiral asked aloud, as we readied to load things into the truck. As a joke, I gesture to the hammer. He looks for a minute. "Grab it." I paused. "What for?" He shrugged. "In case employees get out of line." I laughed, and started away. Looking at nothing in particular, he quietly, unambiguously put it in my pile and walked away.
  • Using the hammer (hell with it--I'm naming it Hullcleaver) to pound caulking irons an inch into the ship's crevasses in an attempt to seal up any leaks. Thing hasn't sunk yet, so I guess it worked!
  • Picasso, signaling me to pound the iron by yelling "BONK!" because really, the thing is pure Looney Toons gold.
  • What scientific standards refer to as "an unholy fuckton" of lead paint on a good amount of my skin. Which might explain why you're getting this post in bullet points. At least I didn't get any in my eye!
  • Definitely got some acid in my eye. While walking along the scaffolding, a piece of wood came up on an unlashed section and sent me backwards. Did the same with the jar of phosphoric acid in my hand. I responded by emptying a water bottle into it, then climbing into the shower fully clothed and having a staring contest with the faucet for twenty minutes (I won!)
  • Plenty of fun times laying under the 200-ton ship scraping barnacles off of the keel. It's kind of like hanging out in a cave, but it smells much worse.
  • The Admiral's temper gradually fraying has been a source of boundless entertainment. Upon attempting to show Picasso how to whip a line (cinch the end of a rope with sewing thread/needle to keep it from coming undone): "You take it like this...*pinches it tight*, wrap some duct tape around it...*wraps a few inches on the end*, cut it here...*cuts it short*, and you COME BACK NEXT SEASON AND LEARN THE REST! *throws it to the ground and storms away*". Nothing like a boss with a sense of humor.
  • Last but not least, carrying away the entire bathroom contents of both the Merc and the Grace:
What a shitty situation.